Never a White Flag

Tug. Tug. Tug. My heart was pounding hard as I opened my email account. Shoot, mailer demon.

I had my hopes high that I would be accepted in Malaya—one of the country’s broadsheets—when I emailed them my resume and recommendation letter two days ago. But to my dismay, I received the mailer demon, ergo they did not get my application letter.

I wanted to tag myself as a “writer.” I write for my Faculty’s publication. However, I had to ask myself over and over again if it was right to proclaim myself as a journalist. I thought that I would have an edge in applying for our ojt, since I write for my college. But to my dismay, the top three broadsheets in the country did not accept my application. Manila Bulletin said I was accepted, but belonged in the second batch (if I waited for my turn, hell it would be June by then, too late), The Philippine Daily Inquirer on the other hand, snubbed my calling and the Philippine Star misplaced my resume. What the hell?

Tug. Tug. Tug. My heart was pounding hard (again) as this time, after checking my email account, I opened a new tab and typed the ‘Varsitarian’. My classmate said that the results of the exam were posted in the site, at first I wanted to snub the results thinking that if ever I did pass the exam, they would text me anyway. But, my application number was nowhere to be found in the roster of passers! What a shame, right?

What hubris then that I fondly tagged “writer” as my affiliation.

Today, I discovered that timing is everything. Why do we have to learn the hard way? Anyway, I am depressed and heartbroken, but boy, never will I wave a white flag.

*photo taken from google photos