*vainglorious bastards

* regardless of Tarantino's movie

The news, “man sues wife for being ‘ugly’,” would be deemed absurd at first, but after much contemplation will delve into the profound meaning and concept of woman’s aesthetics and what urges her to do anything in the name of beauty and vanity. 

The couple who made headlines had a baby, who neither looks like his mother nor his father. The father thought his wife betrayed him but it turned out, his wife had undergone series of surgeries to achieve the face she possesses now:

from yahoo.ph

The wife may have failed to fully disclose her pasts to her husband, who in turn sues her for not being true but we cannot blame the lady for undergoing a major physical overhaul—she only wants to please her lord. 

The surveyed and surveyor

Women’s sense and view of self have been studied and explained centuries back then. Literature in fact, has documented female’s way of thinking and feeling.  

Women have already been deemed as things and weaklings as early as the 14^th century, thus they are objectified by the opposite sex. Men look at women. The men survey the women while they are aware that they are being looked and surveyed at. Sequentially, the women deliberately shape their selves according to the men’s fancy.  In turn the men assess a woman’s worth by her superficial attributes and place her ‘meaning’ in the society. This determines not only the relationship of the surveyed and the surveyor but also the relation of a woman to herself—on how she views herself.

Thus, women back then, and until today, have always had mirrors on their beauty loot for vanity’s sake and reaffirmation of their worth. Although seeing a woman ogling her face in front of the mirror often hurts and annoys someone when done a bit too much, people cannot blame a girl if she does it so. She is doing it to please the opposite sex. When her looks is appreciated by the surveyor, she feels confident and important. 

from wikigallery

by giovanni bellinni (from 1st-art-gallery.com)

mieris

 

 

This act of women looking at mirrors to affirm and assess their physical appearance places men as the subject/actor/superior and women as the object/inferior, but never vice versa. Hence, there are few, if none, instances of men being surveyed by the opposite sex. 

 In many texts, a female character’s gaze into the glass is attributed entirely to vanity or the extreme pre-occupation with her physical self. Rather than acknowledging any deeper parts of her subjectivity, the mirror’s sole purpose is to aid a woman in validating her own physical beauty. ² It is here that Berger is drawing on the psychoanalytic conception of the “gaze”—the state of looking at oneself. It is this “right” to visibility that creates an unequal relationship, for it places the man in the role of the subject and the woman as the object; she loses autonomy as she is always surveyed, yet she herself is never the surveyor. Culturally, the way a woman sees her own self is forged through how she perceives others—particularly men—see her. (Hermes, 2012)

Vanity fair

Modernity however has not changed the way a woman sees herself and the world—it only makes her more vainglorious. Technology and inventions have paved the way for extensive superficiality.

The media and the contemporary society have shaped and dictated how a woman should be portrayed. The Philippine culture, more often than not, weighs and appreciates a woman’s face value more than her substance. Other ethnicities have also their standard of what is beautiful. This unwritten rule thus pushes women to resort to vanity and narcissism.

The issue of women’s vanity boils down to the urge of acceptance and satisfaction of the needs of the opposite sex. I believe that one of the basic roles of a woman (most especially those coming from a conservative orientation) is to give happiness and fulfil the wants and needs of her lover—women in general are genetically and emotionally engineered to play that role.

Let’s face it, we judge someone base on his/her appearance despite knowing that one’s personality is more important than the superficial. Yes, it is much more essential than looks but since one’s appearance is the first thing people notice, some tend to focus on their facial features above anything. 

Will we be easily attracted to someone who is not that pleasing? The answer of course is not. One’s appearance is the first thing we see.

In a society that values one’s face value more than anything, to stay ugly and repellent seems like a mortal sin, considering that the market offers various ranges of beauty products. 

Going back to the couple who made headlines, now who can blame the wife?

(Sa lipunang mapanghusga, tila kasalanan na ang manatiling hindi maganda lalo pa’t malawak at marami ang paraan upang maging kaakit-akit.) But like what is said in Filipino, aanhin mo ang puro kagandahan at panlabas na kaanyuan kung salat naman sa kabutihang asal at katalinuhan (or something like that).

Beyond vanity and self-importance, there are a lot of factors to prove a woman’s worth, establish her identity and strengthen her consciousness—like excelling in whatever field she chooses. But sad to say, most fall into the trap of superficiality. 

Sources:

Reflections in Contemporary Feminist Literature, Theodora Hermes, 2012

Man sues wife for being ugly, yahoo.com.ph