letter of demands (to my future-self)

People in their 20s blur the line of adulthood and infantile  My upcoming birthday gives me time to ponder on the first year since I graduated---that I have bigger responsibilities while still remaining that I am a student of life (I have a lot to learn). Things happened so fast that everything seemed to be on blur and in fast forward motion. To borrow Alphaville's Forever Young:  I wanna be forever young//                                                                                                      It's so hard to get old without a cause //I don't want to perish like a fading horse //                                                     Youth is like diamonds in the sun // And diamonds are forever 

And so, I write a letter of demand to myself (goals, constructive criticisms, and limitations included), which I hope will eventually embody my future personality.

First, I want to have a sense of direction! It seems like the only direction I know is towards the mall. Seriously, my line of work requires a depth knowledge of the ins and outs of the metro, and sans  the Google Map app, I  do not know where the heck will I be. (But thanks to this convenient invention, I get by every day.)

Have serious purchases! Okay, perhaps heaps of clothes, imeldific shoes, and myriad of accessories don't count as "serious investments" but I realize I need important items that will last a lifetime (read: car of my own etc.)

Be the Jack of All Trades! 'Nuff said.

Travel the World! It has only been lately when I started traversing places other than my residence and workplace. Credit to the line of my passion and work, I get to travel to places I've only read in books and seen on television shows. Travelling opens one to different cultures, traditions, and beliefs. A small trinket to remind a certain place is just a bonus.

Libro ni Juan (in the making)

Gusto kong gumawa ng sarili kong libro, entitled, “Ang mga Katarantaduhan ng Pinoy.” Parody style, para cool.

Marami-rami na rin kasi akong nasaksihan, nabalitaan, at na-experience na ka-gaguhan ni Juan. Sa tingin ko nga magiging best seller ito dahil marami talagang makaka-relate. (wishful thinking!) balak ko ring lagyan pa ng mga pictures ng mga caught-in-the-act, para naman masabi niyong, “wow artista na ako, sikat na ako!”

  In one way or another, lahat naman tayo’y naging tarantado minsan sa buhay natin.

Mga tarantado sa lansangan

Habang sakay ng dyip biyaheng Divisoria, nakita ko ang isang babae, naka-short skirt, palinga-linga, wari’y may hinahanap. ‘Yun pala, tuma-timing si Ate para tumalon sa ginawang barikada ng MMDA.  

Una, nakahihiya ang ginawa niyang yun , kababae niyang tao, and to think that she was in a very short skirt! Pag katawid ni Ate, parang wala lang, para bang ang ginawa niya ay normal at pang araw-araw na gawain ng isang kagalang-galang na nilalang.

Pangalawa, ang tamang tawiran, ay halos katabi lamang ng barikadang tinalon niya, nag-eehersisyo siguro ang babae, or nagpa-practice mag parkour. O baka naman nagpapapansin sa MMDA, “tignan niyo ko, naka maikling palda ako, tatalon ako dito, kering-keri ko ‘to!”

Hindi ko na itatanong pa kung bakit mas pinili ng babaeng iyun na sumirko sa gitna ng daan sa halip na tumawid sa Ped Xing. Tamad kasi tayo. Isa pa, nakasanayan na ito at panghuli, wala rin naman kasing nanghuhuling enforcer. Kung meron man, aba malikhain ang Pinoy sa paggawa ng alibi.

"May emergency po eh, nagmamadali po ako."

 "Ay! Hindi ko ho alam na bawal pala tumawid dito."                                                                                                         

‘Yung iba naman nagbibingi-bingihan, nagtatanga-tangahan, o ‘di kaya’y i-Englishin ang MMDA enforcer para kunwari witty at nasa tamang lugar ang palusot.

Minsan ko na ring naisulat, at na-i-rant ang pagdura ng mga Pilipino. Bakit ba dura nang dura ang mga lalaki (may mga babae din kung minsan)? Nasusuka ba sila sa malansang lansangan? Kung ganoon ang dahilan, totoo namang nakaririmarim ang kadugyutan ng Metro Manila. Pero dude, wala namang duraan oh! Buti na nga lang at magaling akong umiwas sa mga nagtatalsikang laway.

I was aimlessly walking inside a mall, sightseeing, window-shopping, when a man, suddenly covered one of his nostrils and then blew very hard until a booger said “hello.” WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?

%^*$%&%^mo!                                                                                                                  $^@#&@ ka!

Sinadya kong isulat sa Ingles ang karanasan kong ito sapagkat malaswa namang basahin at nakakaturn-off kung:

Habang nasa mall ako’t nagsha-shopping, isang mama ang dagliang nagtakip ng isang butas ng ilong sabay singa nang malakas, ayun, sumabog ang malagkit niyang uhog sa makinis at magong linis na sahig ng mall.

Hindi ko lubos maintindihan kahit anong gawin ko kung bakit nagawa ng lalaki iyun, sa loob ng isang establisyamento? Tarantado siya. Walang hiya siya.

Kultura ng ewan

Ewan ko ba kung bakit binababoy natin ang lugar natin, in the end, binababoy na rin natin ang ating mga sarili. Kung iisipin mo, conscious ang mga Pinoy eh, dahil kung nasa ibang mas matinong bansa sila, tiyak naman ang pagsunod: pipila sila sa bus stop, itatapon nila ang pinagkainan sa McDo, tatawid sila sa tamang tawiran at hindi sila dudura kung saan-saan.

Kamakailan nga ay gumawa ng ingay ang Hollywood film na The Bourne Legacy dahil dito sa Manila napili i-shoot ang ilang bahagi ng movie. Nang tinanong ang director nito na si Tony Gilroy kung bakit sa lansangan ng Maynila ang location ng pelikula, isang straightforward answer ang ibinigay niya:

“It’s just so colorful and ugly and gritty, raw and stinky and crowded.”

Sensitibo ang mga Pilipino. Emosyonal tayo. Balat sibuyas ang mga Pinoy. Kaya’t naintindihan kong galit at inis ang una nating naramdaman sa pahayag na ito. Ngunit, may basehan at pawang katotohanan ang sinabi ni Gilroy.

Madumi’t mabaho ang Maynila. Pangit ang Manila.

Hindi ba’t kung ayaw nating mapintasan, dapat gumawa tayo ng aksyon upang kahit papaano’y hindi tayo makutya?

Alam natin ang truism na ito pero wala tayong aksyong ginagawa. Bakit nga ba? Dahil sa katamaran. Ibalik natin sa panahon ni Jose Rizal, minsan na ring naisulat ng ating pambansang bayani ang katamaran ng mga Pilipino sa libro niyang “The Indolence of the Filipinos.”

In summary, sinasabi ni Rizal na hindi inherent ang pagkatamad ni Juan, bagkus kulang lamang siya sa edukasyon at walang national unity ang Pilipinas na magpapa engganyo sa kanya na magsipag.

Hindi tanga ang Pinoy. Sadya nga lang tarantado at gago ang Pilipino dahil ito ang nakasanayan…

(My good friend, Claire, and I are planning to publish a book with the same topic and sentiments. I just hope our project will push through) *crossed fingers* 

Go!

I have to start somewhere.

Barely three months after my graduation, ‘clairvoyance’ sided on me, I think I was somehow, able to see what could happen in the next two years and what my possible career options were. I had the chance to look into myself, assess my capacity and affirm what I want (at least, for the time being) and what I really picture myself to be.

I ought to start somewhere.

The past 90 days have been a rollercoaster ride—one day felt like forever, I thought I was already left behind, career-wise. I was so eager to jumpstart my life outside the university. I was excited.  

Lucky enough, the odds were on my side, many good opportunities knocked at my door. Events, although turned as they were because of personal lapses. I was a chicken, scared of what is and what might become. I guess, it’s just that I pictured myself already successful…to soon. Too soon, that I overlooked the idea that I have to take baby steps and start from the bottom.

And thus, I am starting somewhere.

 “It’s not that you don’t know what you’re doing. It’s just that you want to do everything (at the same time),” I read somewhere.

When you are past your teenage years but not yet an adult adult, you could not help but be carefree and juggle everything at once—thinking that you can handle them all, given the passion and energy of a twenty-something juvenile.

I want to travel. I want to be a writer/editor. I will take my Masteral, soon. I want to teach in UST. I want a love life. I want my own car. New clothes, every day. I want to be a speechwriter… I want and I will.

However, for the meantime, I have to be a jack-of-all-trades first, before I can successfully juggle my wide array of dreams. Para kahit saan, pwede mo akong isabak.

I guess, I have my father as my model: personality-wise and in terms of career-life. He is street-smart, a character which I am not. All my life, I have overflowing family support that I think I have grown a brat. And a street-smart ass, I will learn as I plunge into the working population and into the real bigger world.

Life is not all rainbows and butterflies, honey.

He is a people person, which again I am not. My father has dealt with persons from all walks of life. While, I have only dealt with friends, family and myself. If I want to be a good communicator, my parents always tell me, practice my verbal skills.

My father is a tough cookie. Well, I would like to see myself as one, but I am nothing compared to his experiences, he has been through vicissitudes while I am just about to start. I guess, a low-graded essay back in high school, doesn’t count?

With these I end, because I ought to start somewhere. #

selfish

I totally agree!
*from tumblr

Segue.
My "selfish" plans:
For the next five years, I will: (*crossed fingers)
  Take my MA/enroll for a second degree
  Learn a foreign language--> be a book translator, why not?
  Have a job promotion
  Travel!
  Have my own personal library
  ...and the list goes on!